How Nathan would raise children

Well first off, I have thought about picking a child using the mail-order-stork method, but I really feel like a home grown child would be best for me and hopefully my wife would agree. After the wife and I are done picking out the baby-seeds at the "baby green house store" I'd make sure to plant the baby-seeds in very rich and fertile soil with efficient carbon productivity levels and all the essential nutrients. I would be sure to water the baby plant every day and place it in an area where it will revive the correct amount of sunlight to grow in to a healthy  baby. I would be very vigilant as to trim and unwanted leaves off the baby to ensure even growth and organ development until harvest time. At harvest time I would be sure to carefully pick the baby off of the baby-plant stem so I don't hurt the baby. After that I would keep feeding the baby the healthiest baby fertilizer and be sure to continue to trim the baby. As I watch the baby photosynthesize and grow into a young adult I would always keep an open mind about what they would like to do in life that makes them happy also teaching them how to trim their own young-adult-plant-beard and other fatherly things like  how to play pollen-ball, Americas favorite pass time, with the bees and I would be sure to be there for all of their pollen-ball games. 

(For the record, this is satire, I understand how baby's are made)